COVER FEATURE

Stories on Strings: Mom Musician Lori McKenna
by Kathy Schlaeger

“It's very easy to just become a parent and forget who you are as a person.
 It’s important to remember that you are a person first.” 

Country music singer and songwriter Lori McKenna shows moms everywhere that a dream will be fulfilled when the time is right.  The right time can take years – it did for Lori – but opportunity, like the proverbial teacher, reveals itself when you are ready. One chord after another, one foot in front of the other with pitter patter of little ones all around you, amazing things can happen.

It All Started with a Guitar
At age 13, Lori began writing songs and strumming her electric guitar. Her songwriting path began with her first song – a country tune about a single mom. Given her recent success – she’s written for some of the biggest names in the business before striking out on her own – you might wonder, what if Lori continued writing and playing songs when she was a teen and in her early 20s? Perhaps she would have been launched into musical fame sooner.

But Lori’s own life happened to her. She married her high school sweetheart Gene when she was just 19 years old. She had her first child, Brian, and knew nothing about parenting. She is grateful to her dad and step-mom for showing her how to be a parent.

Lori continued having children—five in all. She believes that being a parent first helped her be a better musician and that God has rewarded her for having the children that she did.

Meanwhile she kept her dreaming. Writing songs and playing her guitar while she raised her children in Stoughton, Massachusetts, she played music at her kitchen table for her closest friends until she was 27 years old when she gave open mike a try. The audience loved her the first night, and her music career took off from there.

Lori’s Current Success
Her album Unglamorous was released by Warner Bros. Records in summer 2007 which includes several personal songs like, “Leaving this Life,” – a song about her deceased mother and how Lori wishes she had something to remember her by. Her song, “I Know You,” about her husband Gene, is a song about intimacy and love that you can taste and feel, and only hope to relate to.

The amazing writing talent you hear come through her music has provided her the opportunity to work with several well-known artists including Faith Hill, Sara Evans, Tim McGraw and Mandy Moore. For Mandy Moore’s Wild Hope album, Lori co-wrote several songs. Tim McGraw cut a song that Lori wrote with Darrell Scott called "I'm Workin."  Three of her songs appeared on Faith Hill’s album Fireflies. Recently, Lori has been writing with Tyler Hilton and Lance Miller.

What surprises Lori the most these days is that people become nervous around her. “I'm such a regular person. It makes me feel bad when people are shy about approaching me.”

She tries to keep much of it unglamorous, as her album title states. Only a short time ago, her family moved from their 1,500 square foot home, once shared by seven people, to a larger home a half mile away. The main difference, she says, between the new and old house is the absence of stress when you have room to move around inside your home.

Her family remains close-knit. They are still within one hour of her entire family, including her four big brothers. In fact, her brother Richie is her musical mentor. He is a songwriter and a guitar player just as she is. Lori’s other siblings studied piano.

Being Mom
Today, Lori and Gene have children in each stage of life – one child in college, one in high school, another child in middle school, another in elementary school, while the baby of the family is just starting preschool.

This is what makes Lori McKenna real, and at once like someone we would be proud and happy to call a friend; she is committed to making her family a priority. One foot in the music industry, another in the trenches of motherhood, Lori, we know you.

Lori and her family do many of the things we do. In the summer, the McKenna’s spend time in their backyard pool. They also take day trips to the beach and go to the water park often. Lori and her family especially enjoy going apple picking in the fall, baking what they bring home being the favorite part of that adventure.

“I couldn't make this work without them being part of the process. This business can be all consuming, but my husband and children keep me from getting too full of myself. ”

Of course, there are certain advantages for her family to Lori becoming a country music star. “We've been able to travel together more because of my music.” Lucky for us, her lyrics take us places we can follow her.

Lori’s Mother
You can’t describe the journey of Lori’s songwriting and music career without mentioning the loss of her mother when Lori was only 6 years old. Her mother had a blood disease – her blood so thick it would often clot – and her mother was sick most of Lori’s life. Not having her mother from such a young age shaped Lori and the rest of her life; when Lori was asked who she would want to meet if she could meet anyone in the world, she picked her mother. Who wouldn’t?

These days, we seem to have immediate technological access for capturing moments.  But in the 1970s while Lori’s mom was still living, there were very few ways to record daily life. Lori has no recording of her mother’s voice or even a picture of her. Lori says that she used to feel sorry for herself as a child because her mom was not around for her, but now that she is a mom herself, her perspective has changed. The sorrow she feels now is for her mom, as she had to leave her own children behind too soon.

Hearing her story made me realize that it is not enough for moms to be the family photographer for every event. It is important to be in the pictures too. Lori will always long for something to remember her mother by.

Advice for Moms
Most working moms can relate to Lori when she says that her kids don't think much about what she does for a living. And any fantasies that mom writers out there might have about stardom and their home life changing because of it – don’t count on it.

“I'm still just mom. I'm still not cool. The kids don't care what radio station or TV show you were on. They want to know when you're coming home and what's for dinner,” said Lori.

Her advice to other mom artists includes telling other moms to find a way to do what you love. “The thing about doing something like this is that it gives back to you. You give inconvenient moments and it rewards you in the end.”

Many moms put themselves and their dreams somewhere on the middle of their priority list, if they are lucky, but Lori wants more moms to go for it. “It may be hard to take care of yourself first, but you are happier in the end when you do,” said Lori.

Her final word of advice on motherhood is to remain your own person. “It's very easy to just become a parent and forget who you are as a person. It’s important to remember that you are a person first.” 

Kathy Schlaeger lives with her husband and three daughters near Cincinnati, Ohio. She writes for The Pulse Journal, Cincinnati Woman, All about Kids and other publications.

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